Chatterbox
by EmberSkies
Summary: Yellow got a new computer, and Red's teaching her how to chat online. There's only one problem: Team Rocket's up to no good again, and only a certain duo of Legendaries can stop them! Oh, and Gold's on a sugar rush. Crack!fic. Full PokéSpe cast. Don't take it too seriously. Co-written with EeveeKitty.


_**TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged on._

 **TheMasterPlan:** hellooooooo?

 **TheMasterPlan:** is anyone hoooome?

 **TheMasterPlan:** ooooooh

 **TheMasterPlan:** omg omg omg now I can complete my #evilplans!

 **TheMasterPlan:** #MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAohhhh crap

 _ **TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged off._

* * *

 _ **ChampRed**_ _has logged on._

 _ **Chuchupika**_ _has logged on._

 **Chuchupika:** Um…Red-senpai? Is that you?

 **ChampRed:** Yes, but don't use real names in chat rooms, okay?

 **Chuchupika:** Why not? You know who I am, right? Senpai?

 **ChampRed:** Yes, but bad people can find your real identity and do bad things to you. This is a public chatroom, remember?

 **Chuchupika:** O-oh, okay…

 _ **Ohhhhsnap**_ _has logged on._

 **Ohhhhsnap:** Heyyy! Who u guyz b?

 **ChampRed:** Could you please refrain from asking personal questions?

 **Ohhhhsnap:** Whoa whoa wait a sec…

 **Ohhhsnap:** Omggg! Red-senpai! Iz dat u?! :O

 **ChampRed:** …

 **Ohhhhsnap:** Oh mah gawd! Yellow? U b here too?! Omgeesies! Mah homies! Wazzap, broz?! :DDDDD

 **Chuchupika:** U-um…Red, is this one of the bad people you mentioned earlier?

 **ChampRed:** To Ohhhhsnap: If you know us in real life, can you please tell us who you are? I can report this if it gets too out of hand, and I doubt you want jail time.

 **Ohhhhsnap** : Omg no plz don't! Officer Jenny HAAATES me!

 **ChampRed:** …

 **Chuchupika** : I don't think she hates anyone… She's very nice…

 **Ohhhhsnap** : Well I waz being all like #swag and she waz like "Young man #stopthatthisinstant!" and I waz like "Well #hatersgonnahate!" and I ran like #yolo

 **Ohhhhsnap:** becuz #yolo

 **Chuchupika:** …Because…hashtag-yolo…?

 **ChampRed** : Gold, is that you?

 **Ohhhhsnap** : O.o

 **Ohhhhsnap** : …maaaybe

 **ChampRed:** …

 **ChampRed:** Oh, dear.

 **Chuchupika:** Hello, Gold!

 **Ohhhhsnap:** Yellz!1! I've got a question for u

 **Ohhhhsnap:** A very seeeerious question

 **Chuchupika:** What is it, Gold?

 **Ohhhhsnap:** Do u wanna build a snowman? \\(^_^)/

 **ChampRed:** It's July, Gold.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** IN SUUUUUMMER

 _ **ChampRed**_ _has logged off._

 _ **Chuchupika**_ _has logged off._

 **Ohhhhsnap:** …

 **Ohhhhsnap:** cold, man.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** i'm feeling Frozen

 **Ohhhhsnap:** lololololzzzz

 _ **Ohhhhsnap**_ _has logged off._

* * *

 _ **TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged on._

 **TheMasterPlan:** Hmmm… How should I defeat those dumb Trainers?

 **TheMasterPlan:** …

 **TheMasterPlan:** Well, I WOULD put my thinking cap on but they stole that too

 **TheMasterPlan:** Stupid Red and his stupid famous hat… little piece of crap…

 _ **Grunt264**_ _has logged on._

 **TheMasterPlan:** Omg omg omg! I've got a plan!1!

 **Grunt264:** Really? Yay, now I have a reason for living and don't have to run around HQ looking through important info and trolling on supercomputers!

 **TheMasterPlan:** I know, right—wait, WHAAAAAATTT?!

 **Grunt264:**...I have no life.

 **TheMasterPlan:** What in the name of Arceus made you do such a thing? Abominations! Filthy scoundrels! I'm kicking you out of Team Rocket! Never return, or I'll…I'll...

 _ **EmberSkies**_ _and_ _ **EeveeKitty**_ _have logged on._

 **EmberSkies:** Keep it K rated, Giovanni.

 **EeveeKitty:** Yeah. Don't forever scar the children.

 _ **EmberSkies**_ _and_ _ **EeveeKitty**_ _have logged off._

 **TheMasterPlan:** ...do something bad to you! Okay?!

 _ **TokyoMewMew**_ _has logged on._

 _ **TokyoMew2**_ _has logged on._

 **TokyoMewMew:** OH MY MEW STOP RESPECTING ARCEUS!1!1! I AM SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN THAT STUPID SPACE GOAT!1! COWER AND FACE MY WRATH!

 **TokyoMew2:** ...Don't even go there, my partner in crime. I'm so much more powerful than you, and you know it.

 **TokyoMewMew:** …

 **TokyoMewMew:** Well, I'm…uh…I'm still stronger than that goat! Ha! Hahahahaha!

 **TokyoMew2:** …Did you seriously just go evil on me? That's MY thing!

 **TheMasterPlan:** WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?!

 **TokyoMew2:** That does not concern you, mortal. Leave this place immediately.

 **TheMasterPlan:** This is my chatroom! You have no right to tell me what to do, you insolent…whatever-you-are!

 **TokyoMew2:** I said, LEAVE.

 _ **TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged off._

 _ **Grunt264**_ _has logged off._

 **TokyoMewMew:** …

 **TokyoMewMew:** Dang, you're good.

 **TokyoMew2:** Of course I am.

 **TokyoMewMew:** …You're so egotistical. I can't believe a narcissist like you was cloned after me.

 **TokyoMew2:** What was that? I'm not sure I caught that last part.

 **TokyoMewMew:** Uhhh…um…

 **TokyoMewMew:** Uh… Giratina's calling me for tea, so I have to go! I'd hate for you to get left behind…

 **TokyoMew2:** …

 **TokyoMew2:** …Giratina holds tea parties?

 **TokyoMewMew:** Shhh…

 _ **TokyoMewMew**_ _has logged off._

 _ **TokyoMew2**_ _has logged off._

* * *

 _ **TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged on._

 _ **Grunt264**_ _has logged on._

 _ **Agent009**_ _has logged on._

 _ **DaTopCat**_ _has logged on._

 **TheMasterPlan:** Domino, Grunt #264, your services are not required. Dismissed.

 **Grunt264:** Yes, sir.

 **Agent009:** Understood, Giovanni. Don't hesitate to stay amazing. Over and out.

 _ **Agent009**_ _has logged off._

 _ **Grunt264**_ _has logged off._

 **DaTopCat:** Hey! What about me, boss?

 **TheMasterPlan:** Hmm? Who are you?

 **DaTopCat:** …

 _ **DaTopCat**_ _has logged off._

 **TheMasterPlan:** …Strange…

 _ **TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged off._

* * *

 _ **OTP4evr**_ _has logged on._

 _ **ChampRed**_ _has logged on._

 _ **Chuchupika**_ _has logged on._

 _ **Ohhhhsnap**_ _has logged on._

 _ **smellyal8r**_ _has logged on._

 **OTP4evr:** Hi, guys! What's ur OTP?

 **Ohhhhsnap:** what IS an #OTP

 **OTP4evr:** How do you not know?!

 **OTP4evr:** And here I thought you were actually ship-worthy! Psh, noob…

 **Ohhhhsnap:** hey lady, #don'tevengothere! i'm not a #noob, okay?!

 **OTP4evr:** You are a disgrace to hashtags.

 **smellyal8r:** Indeed.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** to OTP4evr: well, mine are #betterthanyours, so #hatersgonnahate

 **OTP4evr:** Well, I AM a hater. I don't support any shippings with you involved, especially not you and I.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** wait am i suposed 2 kno u from somewhere?

 **smellyal8r:** Idiot.

 **ChampRed:** How long are you three going to keep at it? I have training to do, you know.

 _ **Chuchupika**_ _has logged off._

 **Ohhhhsnap:** #noooooooo! Yelllllooooooow!

 **OTP4evr:** Ha, that is SO your fault, Gold!

 **smellyal8r:** I refuse to listen to your lover's quarrel. Smell ya later.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** no! its #smellyal8r! And we AREN'T LOVERS! I don't even kno her, so stop being weird.

 **OTP4evr:** Besides, Greenie, I'm into someone else… if you know what I mean… :) 3

 _ **smellyal8r**_ _has logged off._

 **OTP4evr:** Greenie! That was so mean! You shouldn't be such a heartbreaker, you know. You're making me cry.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** Wait… are you Blue-senpai?

 _ **OTP4evr**_ _has logged off._

 **Ohhhhsnap:** …

 **Ohhhhsnap:** i feel unloved

 **Ohhhhsnap:** but omg! yusss! now i can troll evryone without having to worry about them geting mad at me! oh, i know just where to start…

 **ChampRed:** …You do realize that not everybody's out of the chat, right?

 **Ohhhhsnap:** …

 **Ohhhhsnap:** …um…

 **Ohhhhsnap:** …maaaaaaaaaaaybeeeeeee…

 **Ohhhhsnap:** #whyyougottabesoruuuuude

 **Ohhhhsnap:** u dont kno meeeeeeeee! i am not here and u didnt c all that crap i rote! i do not exist in this world and neither does my plan 2 troll teh uuuuuuuuuniveeerse!

 _ **Ohhhhsnap**_ _has logged off._

 **ChampRed:** What.

 **ChampRed:** Gold is just so random sometimes…

 _ **ChampRed**_ _has logged off._

* * *

 _ **TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged on._

 **TheMasterPlan:** Now I can begin my plan on ruling this world. Hmm…now, where to start?

 _ **Ohhhhsnap**_ _has logged on._

 **Ohhhhsnap:** hi person i dont kno!

 **TheMasterPlan:** I'm just going to act as though you never sent that.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** …i feel unloved agn…

 **Ohhhhsnap:** hey so u have a plan? cool can we work 2gethr i wanna troll dis world w/ my awesomness and hashtags r amazin cuz #yolo

 **TheMasterPlan:** …No, not especially.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** #whyyougottabesoruuuuude #don'tyouknowwe'repokemontoo

 **TheMasterPlan:** …What in Arceus's name is…? Since WHEN were we Pokémon?

 **Ohhhhsnap:** since…since Mew and the other cat thingy showed up on this chat in the near future

 **TheMasterPlan:** Mew and…'the other cat thingy'? WHAT IS THIS?

 _ **TokyoMewMew**_ _has logged on._

 _ **TokyoMew2**_ _has logged on._

 **TheMasterPlan:** You all AGAIN?

 **TokyoMewMew:** That's right, it's us! Heehee! We're back from the tea party!

 **TokyoMew2:** Wow. I just looked at the chat so far, and I'm pretty impressed.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** dis is SOOOO cool! i'm a pokemon now, yo! becuz #yolo4ever!

 **TokyoMewMew:** Huh. Me too.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** wait who r u guyz anyway? and u went 2 a tea party?! WAZ SUGAR THR?!

 **TokyoMewMew:** First of all, I am Mew, and, to quote you, my friend here is in fact "the other cat thingy".

 **TokyoMew2:** …I'm not "the other cat thingy".

 **TokyoMewMew:** Well, you are now. Deal with it.

 **TheMasterPlan:** …

 _ **TheMasterPlan**_ _has logged off._

 **TokyoMewMew:** Must've just been in shock.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** can i ask u guyz an importent qustn

 **TokyoMewMew:** Sure you can. Just make it quick, though.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** can u turn up da MEWsic?!

 **Ohhhhsnap:** #badum-tish.

 **TokyoMew2:** …That was seriously the worst pun I have ever heard in my life. And trust me, I have heard some very ridiculous ones.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** yea like ur name?

 **Ohhhhsnap:** oh r u feeling a little ODDISH 2day?

 **TokyoMew2:** PLEASE stop that. Your terrible puns are physically hurting me when I read them.

 **Ohhhhsnap:** #feelingunloved

 **Ohhhhsnap:** #signingofffromdepression

 _ **Ohhhhsnap**_ _has logged off._

 **TokyoMew2:** At least he's gone.

 **TokyoMewMew:** Mewtwo, that wasn't nice.

 **TokyoMew2:** I know.

 **TokyoMew2:** I'm sorry.

 **TokyoMewMew:** No, you're not.

 **TokyoMew2:** I know.

 **TokyoMewMew:** ….

 **TokyoMew2:** ...¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 _ **TokyoMewMew**_ _has logged off._

 _ **TokyoMew2**_ _has logged off._

* * *

 **A/N: Alright, just to recap! Here are the characters and their usernames, in order of appearance:**

 **TheMasterPlan:** Giovanni

 **ChampRed:** Trainer Red

 **Chuchupika:** Trainer Yellow

 **Ohhhhsnap:** Trainer Gold

 **Grunt264:** Grunt #264 (a Team Rocket grunt)

 **TokyoMewMew:** Mew

 **TokyoMew2:** Mewtwo

 **Agent009:** Domino

 **DaTopCat:** Meowth

 **OTP4evr:** Trainer Blue (Female)

 **smellyal8r:** Trainer Green (Male)

 **And in case you didn't catch it…**

 **EmberSkies:** EmberSkies (Ember)

 **EeveeKitty:** EeveeKitty (Kit)

 **Okay! So was that, or was that not, the most simultaneously witty and ridiculous crack fic you have ever read? Yes? Good. That was the point. No? Then we'll have to step up our game in the later chapters; and trust me, there** _ **will**_ **be later chapters.**

 **This story was co-written with a good friend of mine, EeveeKitty. It was my (Ember's) story originally, but after I showed Kit what I had so far, we somehow ended up co-writing it. I'm somewhat glad we did; the story's insanity was doubled after she came along. I'm not sure whether or not that's a good thing.**

 **So…we hope you like it so far. Reviews brighten our day, and don't forget to Fav and Follow for more chapters!**

 **Hasta la vista,**

 **Kit & Ember~**


End file.
